Blogger q&a #1.

Hey guys!  So I was having a bit of a road block in what to write next, so I decided to just look up a random q&a and answer some fun get to know me questions. I hope you guys like this, and if you have any suggestions or ideas for what you’d like to read from me, leave it in the comments! 🙂

When was the last time you cried?

Hmmm let’s see….It was probably during a TV show or a YouTube video I watched.  Actually, I think I teared up when I watched a recent Frey Life video on YT.  They did a 4 year video montage and the ending was so cute I got happy tears and it was so precious.

If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?

I think so!  I try to be as encouraging, supportive and helpful to all my friends, and of course those are qualities I like to look for in friends too.  I’m fun, and just love having a good time so I think I’d be friends with myself.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I do sometimes, but I try not too an awful lot.  I had an ex-boyfriend who used it ALL the time and it got really old, so I only try to do it every now and then when it fits, and hope I’m not obnoxious with it.  

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Definitely what time of personality they have.  I try to figure out the best way to connect with them, and if we have any common interests.  I don’t find many people that I just do not like.

Scary movie or happy ending?

For sure happy endings!!  I HATE scary movies.  I’ve only seen a handful of them in my years, but I hate them so much.  I don’t do well with jump scares especially.  If I want to see a movie that has any kind of scary tone (like the Jurassic Park/World series for example) I can only watch those at home, never in the theater, because I don’t know what to expect and I’m too scared for jump scares!  Or anything gory, I can’t handle that at all!!

Favorite Smells?

This one is always hard for me because I have so many random things!  I always love the smell of a nice home cooked stew or my favorite meal from my parents house.  I also love a billion different candle smells from Bath & Body Works, right now my all time fave from them is Cinnamon Spiced Vanilla, but with fall right around the corner I love Autumn, Pumpkin Apple, Flannel & Sweater Weather…I feel this question could be a blog post on it’s own!

What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home?

Well since home for years was West Virginia and I currently live in Indiana, I feel Indiana is the furthest away but that’s only because I no longer live in WV and sometimes it makes me sad.  I also still am confused on what is technically home.  To me the definition of home is the place you grew up…and even more so for me because that’s where all of my family is.  But home is also here in Indiana because I’m with my husband and we have our house (home) here…again, this could be it’s own blog post and is definitely something I’ve already thought about writing about as well as making a YouTube video about.
But a shorter and probably the way it was supposed to be answered would be Florida, that’s the furthest away I’ve been.

Do you have any special talents?

I don’t sing as often as I used to, but I consider myself a decent singer.  I was in Madrigals in high school, which was a Renaissance style group my high school offered.  It was group you had to try out for, and we all had beautiful Renaissance outfits made that were all different.  I was a soprano in the group and I loved it with all my heart!!  I would love to sing in a more professional style again and to be able to find a group somewhere around where I live.  I’m bummed out because there is a madrigal reunion concert in October back home and I don’t think I’ll be able to go and it makes me SO sad.  

Where were you born?

In the beautiful, wild & wonderful state of West Virginia.

What are your hobbies?

First and foremost, would definitely be my YouTube channel: Seneca Red Vlogs.  It was a passion I didn’t know I had until I hit that record button for the first time.  I learned so much about myself and the secret hidden talent I had when it came to editing and learning so quickly on how I created my vlogs.  
Secondly would probably be hanging with family/friends, which my husband says is not a hobby lol but I don’t care, it’s what I enjoy doing.
Then I love photography and now blogging, they are peaceful and non stressful hobbies that I just do in my spare time and I greatly enjoy it!!

What did you want to be when you grew up?

This one is hard for me because I honestly don’t remember!!  Like okay, when I was in 4th grade I wrote that I wanted to be a dolphin trainer in Florida?? I have no clue where that one came from?  But other than that, I don’t really remember what I wished to be??  I’m sure you could say I wanted to be a broadway star…or play flute/piccolo in an orchestra for a few years.  Lost dreams.

How many countries have you been to?

Just the good ole USA!

What was your favorite/worst subject in school?

Favorite: Definitely band & choir hands down all thought middle school into high school. However my senior year of high school, I really enjoyed my English class and my Earth Science class a lot!  I had so much fun, and I think they were back to back if I can remember right?
Worst: Math.  Hands down!  I still to this day despise math.  I could never comprehend any of it and it was such a hard subject for me.  I never had the best teachers except my junior year, I think, I had a decent teacher, but it still was difficult to learn.

What is your favorite drink?

Although I mainly just drink water these days, I can ALWAYS go for a sweet tea.  I was raised on that stuff, and it’s the only thing in the mornings I want.  When it comes to alcoholic drinks, I do enjoy wines on the semi-sweet/semi-dry side, but can’t turn down Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey, neat.

What would you (or have you) name your children?

This is a good question IF I would put this online…as of now, I want to keep the names I have picked out for my future children private but only because I’m not 100% sure yet, and I don’t anyone to steal them…childish I know, but still!  I will say that I definitely prefer the more traditional or old time names to some of the new trendy, current names they have now.  Sorry guys, no reveals yet.

Who are some of your favorite YouTuber’s?

Ohhh I love this question!!! 🙂  Honestly though, where do I start??  First and foremost I ADORE The Frey Life!  They are married couple, Peter and Mary Frey, and Mary has Cystic Fibrosis and it’s about their everyday life.  The good and bad sides of it.  I’ve been following them for over a year now and can’t go a day without watching their vlogs, which they do daily!  I literally could go on and on about them, and may do a separate post about this topic so I can fit more in.
Secondly, I love The Ohh Family, or Sam & Jen Oquendo.  They do vlogs about their lives and recently had a beautiful baby boy, so their vlogs are extra cute these days!  I’ve gotten to know Jen a little more recently, and she is very sweet!  I’m thankful for YouTube because you get to meet new people who become friends.
Third, and I’ll have to stop here because again, I’ll have to do an entire post on this, would be, Jenna Marbles/Julien Solomita.  Okay I guess that counts as two, but they are the main inspiration I had at the beginning of my YouTube adventure.  They are beautiful people, and create amazing videos, and their editing is something I strive to be able to do one day.

How many boyfriends have you had?

Gosh, its been 8 years since I’ve been single so I have to think way back on this one.  Let’s see… 5??  I feel maybe 7 if you count the silly middle school ones that you just see at school and never do anything but hold their hand if that?  So let’s just say 5?

Favorite memory of childhood?

Gosh, this is another hard one!  Where do I start?  
Anything to do with my family.  Christmas’s for sure, I can just smell my grandma’s house for breakfast as I type this.
Every Sunday night/Wednesday night for youth group at church.  Those were amazing incredible life altering days.  The mission trips we went on….incredible.
I’m a daddy’s girl, so every deer season we would hunt together.  I miss that SO much…so so much….I swear I’ll get back there to my family during Thanksgiving/Deer Season one day….
This was a good question, I definitely have so many more!

How would you describe your fashion sense?

Not trendy!  I have 0 sense of style…  I wear leggings and what’s comfy most of the time.  Frankly I’m just comfortable in jeans/shorts and a t-shirt.  However, when I need to dress up…I can dress up.

Tell us one of your bad habits?

Hmmm…I’m always bad at these questions because it takes me while to think of one…  Like I’ll know a bad habit in the moment, but then I can never think of one when I need to.  
I asked my husband and he says I never finish my drinks and I’ll leave a half full glass anywhere in the house… He said he always knows it’s me because it’s not empty. oops…

Thank you so much for reading!!  I found this q&a from this blog here!
I hope you do this too, if you do, let me know and I’ll read them! 🙂

I hope you enjoyed this, and let me know if you would want more of these?  I always enjoy q&a’s because it helps me get to know people better!
Did we have anything in common?  Let me know in the comments below!

See you next time!

xoxo
~Seneca

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Let’s be friends!
Follow me on Twitter: @Seneca_Red
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: Seneca Red

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Ramblings.

I’ve been trying to figure out ALL week what I wanted to write about.  It’s not that I didn’t want to write a post this week, but I think, like everything, I get super overwhelmed because there are SO many different things I want to write about.   But instead of writing about one of those 20 or so things I thought about writing about, this is just probably going to be super random.

I’m trying to find some good writing music and I’m failing… I even looked up blog playlists on Spotify.  I haven’t found anything good yet.  Speaking of Spotify, hopefully the same day this goes live, I’ll have my newest YouTube video up on my channel which is about exposing my Spotify!  I’m excited to share this one.  I put a poll out on my twitter asking if people want to see the ending, and how it gets really real at the end despite it being a fun video.  Everyone responded yes to that, so I’m leaving that footage in there.  I mean, hey, it’s part of who I am, and I want to be as genuine and real on my channel as possible. 🙂

I’ve been in a funk lately…it’s ties back to my post from last week.  I’m feeling even more drawn to these new adventures and opportunities.  I MUST continue to pray and listen to what He has for me.  His was is best, always.  I’m one to get very excited over things and love giving it my all, I hate when I have to split things.  Ron Swanson or Leslie Knope, someone off parks and rec once said “Don’t half ass two things, whole ass one”.  I try not to cuss much if at all, but I think that quote has some truth behind it.  I cannot spread myself too thin between all my projects/work I have.  I definitely need to get better at balancing it all.

Tomorrow is Sunday, (whoo Saturday night blogging!) and I’m excited!  It really feels so long since last Sunday and I feel like I barely remember anything that happened from this week!  I’m excited for Sunday, but I go into work at 3, and just the fact that I don’t have unlimited time after church will hinder a lot of my day.  I am just horrible when it comes to thinking about that type of stuff.  On days where I don’t work until 1 in the afternoon, I psych myself out and I convince myself I can’t start anything or invest too much in a project because I have no time to work on it.  Even if I wake up at like 8am. I hate the feeling of being rushed, but I feel I do it to myself.

I’d like to start doing some challenges to myself just to see how they go.  I watched a YouTube video from a twitter acquaintance the other day, and it was about her waking up at 5am every day!  It was intense, poor thing she looked so sleepy, but good for her for being dedicated and getting things done!  You can watch her video here.  That’s something I want to do!!  I need to be better at a lot of things.  Like for instance, maybe on day challenge myself to do two major things off my cleaning list, or just force myself to put away the clean dishes in the morning right when I get up, or force myself to wash the dishes right away after dinner instead of waiting until the next day or something like that?  I don’t know, part of my is just rambling right now.  Sorry, for the randomness…I knew when I started this blogging adventure, I would treat it like a journal on occasion…this is definitely one of those occasions.

*Update-I found good music to listen too! :)*

The word rebrand isn’t the word I’m looking for when it comes to my YouTube channel, but I definitely want to change things up a bit.  I would like to change my cover art for my channel home page.  I would like to get an intro created for every video.  I also should probably redo my channel trailer, I made it in January of this year, so it sill says stuff about getting engaged and I feel it’s outdated now??  I truly just wish I could give YouTube 100% and be completely focused on that, and take the extra day to edit more precisely or be able to take the time to learn a more advanced editing program (although I really do love iMovie!)  It’s just so much fun to me, and I love that my subs have been going up and I have 3 or 4 videos with over 150 views!  That’s so unreal to me! 🙂

I also need to create THE video, the video I just haven’t made yet.  For multiple reasons, but like I said before, I want to be as open and honest about who I am on my channel, and something happened almost 9 years ago, that I’m finally ready to talk about and discuss on my channel.  I went to college for psychology and I just love to help people and I feel that what I went through at such a young age, and how it’s effected me throughout the past 9 years can really help others.  I hope so at least.

*sigh* it’s 10:47pm right now, and I should go to bed.  I did move upstairs so I could sit comfortably in bed to write this and just focus.  I would love an unlimited supply of hot apple cider right now and be surrounded by like 1000 more pillows and just write and create.  BUT my husband just came to bed and he’s all chatty lol My work schedule really hinders us spending time together on a regular basis.  I’m not always 9-5:30, like I said before I’m sometimes 1-9:30….and then poor Matt has to get up pretty early for work, so he needs to go to bed early, so he’s either in bed when I get home or we have maybe 2 1/2-3 hours of hangout time before he needs to go to bed.   I try to go to bed when he does, not for any particular reason, but I feel bad he has to get up early, so I feel I’m being supportive in some way?  Gosh, I’m rambling SO badly right now, so I guess I should sign off.  I do appreciate you listening to my rambles! If you’re still here!  🙂

Tomorrow is going to be a long day…we have a store reset for work, and I’m feeling just so unprepared…  Hopefully it will go smoothly.  We had inventory last week so switching mindsets from inventory to store reset is basically the day light savings time of retail.

Thank you again for reading!  I appreciate you!  Drop a fun comment if you’d like! 🙂

~xoxo Seneca

thanks for reading

Let’s be friends!

Follow me on Twitter: @Seneca_Red
Subscribe to my YouTube channel: Seneca Red

What’s next for me?

It seems that everyday I’m driving to my job, I’m always thinking to myself, how long am I going to do this?  How long will I be working in retail?
I’ve been at my job for 3 years now, and I do enjoy it!  Moving to Indiana 3 years ago, I didn’t really know anyone except my husband’s family.  So when I started my job, my coworkers were the only friends I had…  It was nice, but I was always sad that it never fizzled to outside of work friendships.
I started at the bottom of the ladder at my job, working only once or twice a month for store resets, then it would become more regularly-working just normal selling shifts.  It was like this for 8 or 9 months until the opportunity for me to become the assistant manager arrived and I jumped on it quick!  So for 2 years now I’ve been in management in the retail world, and it’s been a variety of things.  Honestly, retail has tainted my view of people…I forgot how nice most people can be, and it really made me sad when that glass shattered on me the other day.  I never trusted anyone who walked in the door until  about a minute after talking to them…would they be nice or would they just be down right rude?  I’ve seen it ALL!  Not as much as my boss who has been there for 16/17 years, but still, I’ve seen a lot.  I’ve also learned a lot as well.  I’ve learned things myself I didn’t know that I could do.  In high school, I wasn’t popular, I wasn’t super outgoing, but I wasn’t extremely shy either.  I just never went out of my way to be the one to talk in class or bring attention to myself unless I was 100% confident in what I was doing.  I just never want to fail, especially in front of people.  So when I started my management position, I didn’t know where it would go, or what opportunities it could bring me along the way.   I suddenly had to start ordering the people who were once at the same level as me around in new ways.  That was hard to do…I didn’t know how to do it, and sometimes still don’t with some coworkers.  I also had to conduct interviews, and be responsible for hiring the people who would come help us during the holiday season, the first year was rough…I could have rethought a few people I hired, (oops).  But with all things, the more you do it, the more you learn and get better.  Now, 2 years later, I can run things with my eyes closed and almost never miss a beat.  I’ve also grown a lot of confidence.  I’m also happy to say that most of my work friends have turned into real friends and we hang out outside of work and I could not be more thankful for that.  I have missed having friends (in the same town as me) for so long and I’m just glad I have them now.  (If any of them are reading this, hello friend!  Thanks for being awesome!)  Heck I’ll almost say that they have become my work family, and they are the main reason I’m still working there.

However, I do ask myself, how long will I be with this company?  I have no complaints about them.  They treat us so nicely, and respect us.  Yeah, sometimes they do things that make us scratch our heads and wonder why on earth they would change something, or spring something on us last minute to make us scramble to complete it.
This job has taught me that I do love management, I love the organization and being in charge of things.  I enjoy seeing the finished product of projects or seeing my girls all work together and having a great shift all together.  I love the team building and closeness we have when we work together.  I always want to make everyone feel included and important in what they are doing.  I never once thought that management would be the field for me, especially in retail!

But how do you know when it’s time to move on, or change careers paths…I like being the boss, and I like organizing/managing.  I’m struggling to decide when the time is right to pursue something else that has been on my mind.  It’s not even 100% complete yet, but I’m excited about when the opportunity will fully arise.  And who do I listen to?  Everyone is going to tell me something different on what I should do.  People say, well is their insurance?, or what’s your salary?  Is it worth it?  All the normal questions of changing lanes.  Then the next thing that’s scary to me is, Matt and I want to start our family very soon…what happens when we have children?  Am I supposed to work when our baby is first born and is a baby-baby?  Do I miss out on those first years of our children’s lives??  I’m SO new at this part of my life, I’m so scared!  I don’t know what to think when it comes to this stuff…my mom was a stay at home mom so I don’t know what it looks like when mothers work and have young children/babies.  I think because of that, I just feel I should be a stay at home mom with our children.
But then I think, what will my job do without me…what will my girls think if I’d ever leave them.  It may sound cheesy but when they get excited because they’re working with me, that just makes me feel so good and I’m so happy about that.  I also think that I’m afraid I’ll lose my friends if I were to ever leave my job, and I hate that.  I don’t do well with losing friends and I know that’s part of all of these thoughts in my head.

Overall, I’m just praying that God will give me the sign for when the right time is to either switch lanes career wise or when we start our family, that I will know where I should be during the first years of our growing family.  It’s terrifying, but I know God’s way is the best way.  Always.  I love our Heavenly Father with all of my heart, and I need to listen to Him, no matter how dark the road ahead my be.  I just want someone to talk to about all this, but I don’t want to bring it up to my coworkers because I don’t want to think I don’t like working with them, but I just have never been in this part of my life before! (duh, lol that sounded weird writing that out, but you know what I mean)  I just got done being in the mindset of college, and just being me, hanging with friends and living life….now I’m constantly thinking about start our family, being a wife, and running our household with my husband.  It’s THE best and I’m happy that I am a wife, and hopefully soon a mother.  But it’s all new territory and I just don’t know what to think or do yet.  This is why God is my guide, He will tell me the way to go and bless us with children when we are ready in His eyes.  Is anyone else out there like me?  Excitedly confused about this part of your life?  Leave a comment!

I appreciate you listening, I know this was a longer post, but it’s been on my mind for a few days.

As always,
Thanks for reading!
~xoxo Seneca

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Let’s be friends!

Follow me on Twitter here: @Seneca_Red
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel here: Seneca Red

What I Love About Sundays

If you’re a country music fan, the title of this will remind you of a country song.

Since I work in retail, I don’t get Sunday’s off very often, especially since I’m in management.  However, I was fortunate to have the last two off!  Ever since we moved to Indiana, we hadn’t really found a church we liked a lot.  We had one we went to when we lived with his parents, but when we moved into our first apartment 3 years ago, we never really found one.  We would go on Easter or Christmas Eve, but not regularly like we should have been.

Matt and I had a big conversation just about life a few weeks ago and it was so nice, and we agreed we need to get back into church and getting in the schedule that Church is part of what we do on Sunday’s, as it should be.  We tried one church, and it wasn’t bad.  It was help in a high school, but wasn’t very personal.  No one came up to us afterwards and said hello.  Matt was a little disappointed in that.  We considered going the next weekend, but never followed through and just stayed home.  Then I worked a few Sundays.  Well last week, we said we needed to go to church, but wanted to try some place new.  I’m so glad we did!  We tried a smaller non-denominational church and really enjoyed everything about it.  The service was more on the apologetics side, and was true to what we believe, and SO MANY people came up to us and said hello!  It was a little overwhelming at first, but it was so nice and, I especially, was really touched by that.  I told Matt today on our drive home, that I forgot how nice people were.  Retail has really strained my view on people, and I always have my guard up at work because people can be very rude or don’t even smile when you greet them.  (I’m just trying doing my job!).

So today and last week, when people greeted us, and even remember our names this week, we were so happy about that and are feeling more and more that this is the right place for us.  This evening there is a picnic at the park downtown, followed by baptism, so I’m hoping we go to that.  Matt is outside mowing the lawn, and I’m inside cleaning up and down, and running laundry as well.  I needed to take break and get some water, and figured I would right a little bit.

Sunday mornings are my favorite!  This morning we were rudely woken up by our dog and cat, begging for food like they were about to starve.  We stalled them a little bit and they fell back asleep, but it wasn’t soon after they were up making all sorts of racket again.  Matt wasn’t very happy.  He went downstairs, tended to them, and I’m pretty sure he fell back asleep on his recliner for a little bit.  I laid down for a little bit longer, checked my phone, and then I went downstairs to make some tea.  I need some form of tea in the mornings, whether it be hot or iced.  It needs to be tea and it needs to be sweet!  I always turn on a Christian playlist and just start my normal routine for getting ready.  I love just opening up my heart and getting ready to hear from God’s Word.  It really is just a beautiful feeling.

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Today I wore the dress I bought last year to wear at my best friends bridal shower, I love that dress!  I got it from a store called Dry Goods.  I also straightened my hair, which I don’t do that often because it’s so thick, but was definitely easier since I got it cut a few weeks ago.

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After church, Matt wanted to go out to eat, so we chose to go get Mexican food for lunch.  It was good, although I would have rather just come home and cooked a lunch for us, but that was okay.  Mexican is my favorite so I had no complaints.  Plus I hadn’t gotten around to washing the dishes yet, so my kitchen was a little crowded.  They’re all clean now and I am working on cleaning off our dining room table.  I’m not sure about you, but we seem to let our table become a catch all for all our random junk we collect throughout the week.  I feel once it’s clean, two seconds later, it’s all piled up again.  But I guess that’s how it goes, hehe.

*Remember the song I mentioned at the beginning, it just came on my playlist while I was writing this.  That’s kind of neat.*

I need to figure out what to cook for the picnic this evening.  They are serving hot dogs, but asked everyone to bring a side.  I found some corn and stuffing casserole I’ll probably whip together since I know I have all the ingredients.

I haven’t seen Matt come around on the mower in a few minutes, I wonder if he had any trouble with it?  His brother gifted us his old mower.  He fixed it up a bit, and brought it over at the beginning of the summer, it was very sweet of him.  It gets the job done, but Matt wants to fix a few things on it.

I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse into my Sunday.  It’s about 3:00 right now, so I need to get back to working on cleaning this house, and I think the washer stopped, so I need to switch over my laundry.  I hope wherever this blog finds you, you are doing okay and hope you have a wonderful day!

Thanks so much for reading!
-xoxo Seneca

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Follow me on Twitter: @Seneca_Red
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: Seneca Red

 

4 Tips for Creators/Bloggers

Something that I have always enjoyed was photography and recently videography.  I’ve been taking photos for years now, I did my senior project in high school on it, I am always the one with my camera out at family events or taking a random picture.  Photography is something that my dad as always helped me with, it’s a special memory we share together.

Within the last year, I started my YouTube channel, and I realized, ‘wow!  I really love this!’  I have met some awesome people though YT, and twitter, and it never would have happened without taking that leap of faith and hitting the record button that first time.  This stuff can be scary to take on, it’s a big commitment honestly.  You set a goal for yourself, whether it be subscribers, views, upload schedule, what type of content to create, the list goes on.  I still have days where I feel lost in what to do next for my channel, or I have a big idea for a video and have NO way to go about it!  However, in the end, it’s worth it, all the hard work that goes into a video, it’s just so rewarding!

When you start something, it can always lead to more, and that’s great!! For me, that something more currently, is wedding videography!  Sunday, I had my second meeting with a bride to be, and it was SO exciting!!  I cannot wait!  This make 2 weddings that I will be doing videography for!

As some of you know, I did put together my own wedding video, and I am SO proud of it!!  It was so much fun to put together and I am so excited to put together more wedding videos.  I love creating!

Matthew & Seneca

I thought of a few things that have helped me along the way, and wanted to share them with you!

– Don’t ever give up on what you love and are passionate about!  Hard work pays off, and it shows through your work!

-Stay connected with others who enjoy what you do.  Twitter has been the best way for me to do that.  Always comment back to when people comment on your posts, be active and engage.

-Sometimes it is okay to have a slump.  There are days where I want to create something but nothing comes to mind or I don’t feel it that day.  That’s okay!!  Don’t overthink it, or worry that your channel/blog, whatever it may be, will fall apart.  I have noticed when I feel like that, when I take a few days off, I’ll come back so much more refreshed and ready to go!

-Always ask for criticism!  That’s one of the best ways to improve.  I have practically begged people to tell me what they truly think of my wedding video (and other videos) so I know how to properly attack filming my upcoming weddings.

Am I an expert?  No, by no means.  However, I have learned a lot from all these life adventures I’ve been on.  The purpose of my vlogging and blogging is to help people in one way or another.  So I hoped this can be an encouragement to you!

If you’re a new blogger, me too!!  Let’s be friends!  I would love to hear from you in the comments!

As always, thanks for reading!
-xoxo Seneca

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Let’s be friends!

Follow me on Twitter: @Seneca_Red
Subscribe to my Youtube: Seneca Red

To the friend who won’t see this…

To the friend who won’t see this,

To the friend I thought would be a friend until the end.  To the friend I thought would be standing next to me on my wedding day like she said she was excited to do.  To the friend who survived countless psychology classes with me.  To the friend who got me, and understood me in a college where not everyone may have.  To the friend who I stood by your side during the worst moments of your life and supported you, loved you, encouraged you.

To the friend who is making me write this post because it’s been almost 4 months since you decided you did not want to be a part of my life anymore.

Picture this, the day after my bridal shower in Indiana, it’s 5:00pm and I get a text saying I wrote you an email.
Earlier that day all I had done was ask her about something for my  West Virginia bridal shower, I didn’t think I was coming across negatively.  I had apologized for something that had happened between the bridesmaids the day before I had not known about, but I never got a response to that apology.  Instead I got a letter.  The meanest letter I have ever received in all 26 years of my life.  A letter stating that I was a horrible friend and all I wanted was for my girls to pay for my wedding, and all I wanted was money from them.  However keep in mind, she had already bought her dress and had sent a me a happy picture when she picked up the dress, and never said a word that she was upset with anything.  Literally 2 or 3 days prior to this “break up” we were talking like usual, about our rescue pups and other life issues…  There were just no signs this was coming.

This letter also stated that I was to change her RSVP from 1 to 0, she would no longer be a bridesmaid, attending my wedding, or even be my friend anymore.  She ended it all, all 4 years of friendship that we had built from our first years as a psychology students.  I was devastated…  She just sent me the email letter, and I have NEVER heard from her since.  But I guess it’s pretty hard to hear from someone when they block your phone number, facebook, snapchat, instagram, twitter, pinterest.  Oh and also when they block your mother, and other members of the bridal party as well on facebook…  I don’t know where she is at, what she is doing, how she is doing…nothing.  It’s truly the worst feeling in the world.

I was at work that day she sent that letter to me.  I instantly screenshot it and sent it to two of my friends, one responded right away and said ‘do not read this alone, Matt (my husband) must be with me’.  I listened although I had previously skimmed it to see what it was for in the first place.  I had 30 minutes of work left, it felt like the longest 30 mins of my life.  I was waiting on customers and then my brain would spazz and I would start getting teary eyed.  On the way home from work, I called my parents to let them know what was going on.  I still had not fully read the letter.  When I walked in our back door, Matt was on the couch, that is when I broke.  I don’t know if I have ever cried that hard in my life, or in the recent past years at least.  I sat there and bawled.  I know 90% of it all was from this letter but the other 10% was probably just the last year of wedding planning stress.  Between my husband and my other friend texting me constantly for a few hours, we read that letter over and over.

2 years prior my friend had gotten left at the alter.  It was devastating, we never saw it coming.  He blocked her on every social media, phone numbers.  He blocked all her friends, including me, and the other members of her bridal party.  (Sound familiar yet?)

You may be wondering, why am I writing about this?  Why am I making this one of the first blog posts on my page?  I would say for a few reasons.  Mainly because my wedding has come and gone, and it was amazing, but the wedding is over and she still isn’t my friend.  She didn’t magically reappear.  I still don’t have her as my friend anymore, someone who I did consider to be a best friend.  So it’s hard, it hurts, I’m not sure how to process it all still.  Writing helps.  Writing helps express the feelings and just get it out on paper, take a weight off my chest.  Also, I know I am not alone, there is someone else out there who has lost a friend like this and never saw it coming.  It sucks.  So if you happened to be reading this and this has happened to you, leave a comment.  I’m sorry it  happened, and I hope you’re handling it all okay because it can definitely be confusing.

The day she sent the letter I was just so sad.  The second day after the letter, I was so mad.  The third day, I left it behind me, I had 2 1/2 months until my wedding, I couldn’t keep stressing over it.  What’s done is done.  Heck I had a friend who should have been in my wedding from the start take her spot and it was just perfect!  Everyone says that I better off without her in my life and she wasn’t a true friend if she did this.  To some extent that is true, if she would have just been a sassy attitude because it wasn’t her wedding then I would not have wanted those vibes around me.  However she was a friend, and I always say if you’re a friend of mine, you’re a friend for life, I’ll do anything for you…and that is something that is SO hard to just forget and move on from.  My wedding was 2 months ago…we haven’t spoken in 4 months and I guess by her terms we have the rest of our lives to not talk to each other?   Doesn’t that sound weird??

So to those who say oh you’re better off without them, yeah you’re probably right, but let me still have confusion about this, let me wonder why it happened for a little bit longer.  It’s not every day that I feel like this, but on occasion I wonder where it went wrong.  Was I completely blind and didn’t see it coming? I think I was.   Was this her plan in all of this, to make me feel like she felt before her wedding??  I guess I’ll never know because she kicked me out of her life and never looked back.

But if you do look back friend, and you somehow, someway read this, I miss you, but you caused me a lot of pain.  If I made you feel the way you described you felt in that letter then I’m sorry, but why didn’t you come to me and tell me?!?!  That is what irritates me the most.  Why did you not want to work this out?

So to all those out there, if you are still reading, if this has happened to you, hang in there.  It sucks, but in time, it’s going to get better, but take the time you need, and process it, please in a healthy way.

Thank you so much for reading.
-xoxo Seneca

Let’s be friends!

Follow me on Twitter: @Seneca_Red
Subscribe to my YouTube: Seneca Red

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Get to Know Me!

Hi there!  Welcome to my first blog post!

My name is Seneca and I’m 26 years old.  I’m originally from West Virginia, but moved to Indiana in 2015 to be closer to my husband’s family.  We recently got married on May 26, 2018, but have been together for 8 years come September!

I’m not really sure where I want to start this blog, I’ve trying writing this first post probably about ten times now, and I feel nothing sounds right??

I’m currently sitting in what we call the “game room” however it has zero games in it, but, we are working on that!  We recently went to Ikea and bought a cube shelf thing that really brought the room together nicely.  I have the candle called Sweater Weather burning, it’s one of my favorite scents!  I tried to hold off on burning it, but I couldn’t wait anymore, I love fall, what can I say?

Happy August!  I can’t believe the summer is almost over, it went by quickly, as it usually does.  We don’t have any children, but some kids start back to school next week and I cannot believe that!  When I was in school, we didn’t start till about the last week in August.

There are a lot of things I would like to accomplish with this blog, I feel I have a lot to say but don’t always know how to get the words out there.  I feel blogging will be a fun way to express myself, and maybe be able to help or encourage someone else too.  That is my end goal, to touch someone’s life in a positive way and help however I can.  I will cover topics such as long distance relationships, struggling friendships, dealing with loss at a young age and overall, starting our family, stories of working in retail, stories about our farm life, what it was like moving 7 hours away from my family and more!  I understand not every post will be for every one, but I hope if you like what you read you’ll leave a comment!  I love meeting new people and have already gained some new friends though social media and I love it!

I also have a YouTube channel! I enjoy it greatly, and it has taught me some things about myself I didn’t really know until just recently, but the journey has been so fun!  I have had the channel for just a little over a year now and I’m very proud of what all I have accomplished!  I create primarily vlogs, but I create other lifestyle videos as well on occasion!  You can watch one of my vlogs here!

I will have another blog out in a day or two, but leave a comment below and tell me what your favorite flavor of ice cream is!  I’m pretty boring and I love just classic vanilla, but if there is every any cake batter flavored ice cream/frozen yogurt I always go for that first!

Thanks for reading!
-xoxo Seneca
Follow me on Twitter: @Seneca_Red
Subscribe to my Youtube Channel: Seneca Red

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